Trying to quit... trying to not go insane

Started taking Chantix this morning to quit smoking. I designated today as my "quit date" a few weeks ago. Feel pretty good about it. I do have a nasty stomach ache probably due to the pill. But I got that the last time I tried it so I'm just going to push through it.

Week one you continue to smoke, but cut down. You take one .5 mg pill in the morning for 3 days. Then days 4 to 7 you take a .5 mg pill in the morning and in the evening. After that it is a 1mg pill twice a day... for 11 weeks. It's a 12 week program. Last time I tried the Chantix I took it for maybe a month. It was expensive so I didn't continue it, I did quit for 6 months. This time I am in for the long haul. Even if I am paying $72 a month out of pocket. My life is worth it.

I think though, I may have picked a bad time to quit. More arguing with my daughter's dad...ie. Captain Douchebag (I will now make all references to him as Capt DB). So much so that I feel I cannot take it anymore. I have spent the last 9 years trying to keep everything OUT of court for Alivia. It doesn't seem like that is in her best interest anymore. It seems as though a lawyer may be the next road taken.

Capt DB thinks I'm... well, pick an adjective mentioned in my first blog. There isn't a name he hasn't called me.

Today my daughter cried because I can't schedule a time for her friend to spend the night for her birthday (coming up in a few weeks). I can't schedule a time because her dad won't agree on anything. He wants to say I can't have her one day because it is his weekend, yet when it is my weekend he wants her part of the time. I can't take the stress anymore. It goes so much deeper but I cannot even start to explain all the crap I have to deal with. At least not right now.

So... new plan for my blog...

1. Try to make some changes in myself to be a better mother
2. Keep trying to quit smoking
3. Keep myself from going insane while dealing with court issues involving visitation for Alivia's father.

Help.


Edit (3/8/10)... I didn't quit smoking. It didn't work out as planned.